arushi (aera) rege

sidewalk chalk

my mother fleshed me out into a good daughter,
a bloody mimic of a bloodless idol. i prayed to gods

i didn’t believe in – i forgot what it meant to be loyal;
sorry mother. i promise i was a good daughter.

i drew my own destruction in brick-red sidewalk chalk &
fell to suburbia-night moons. i licked agave-honey off

brown skin & became a map of the expanse of skin
i had carefully constructed under your right hipbone.

i became a comma with no follow up & a room with
empty rage. my mother fleshed me out into a good

daughter & my lover fleshed me out into a good sacrifice,
a pawn to be slayed & a love to be won & a want to

obtain. i forgot what it meant to be loyal; i let myself
grow soft with the touch of my own failure & i let

myself become a clock on rusty machinery. i’m sorry
mother, i promise i’m a good daughter. i’ve looked

death in the eye but i still can’t tell my mother i’ve
loved a girl & i’m something in between girlboy &

i drew my own death in sidewalk chalk that washed away
in the rain & i fell in love in suburbia & i drew a map of

my skin in layer sixteen of yours & i forgot to be loyal,
mother, i’m sorry i’m not a good daughter i promise

i’m trying to be more.