Christine Sung
seven ways to stunt your growth
i.
don’t grow; stay stagnant
let the weeds overwhelm you
& take a hold of your life
until you are a shrunken version
ii.
squeeze every last drop
out of the wick; you
always did burn the
candle at both ends
iii.
ruminate on the woes
of the world & continue
to look back on the
everyday bullshit
iv.
don’t bother reading;
reading is for the people
who actually wanna grow
creatively & you’re one of them
v.
swipe through instagram
double tap every picture
of a dog or a baby or
a house you’ll never grow into
vi.
whine because you don’t
have the money for the cheese
you’re lactose intolerant
anyway but who cares
vii.
lastly, shrink in the dryer
you never needed to fit
in your own skin & baggy
is overrated you tell yourself
swiping in six parts
i.
swipe right to achieve candy crush
stardom; swipe left for loneliness
sometimes I scroll through dating
apps looking for myself , rather
than for the one because it’s
harder to look in the mirror
ii.
dating app talk is beyond me
“superlike” someone today like
your favourite fantasy novel
you read on the playground
find out who liked you to boost
your self-esteem because you
can’t even see
the real you anymore
iii.
swiping through dating apps
makes you yearn for the days
people met up IRL and actually
got to know each other
organically rather than in a
fake, made-up constructed way
sext your latest pictures
selfie galore – as you prostitute
your sense of self growing
tired of identifying as a
BIPOC disabled artist that
can’t even get work
iv.
when will I get my white picket
fence and my slew of babies
to keep in my rent-a-storage
like the life I’d probably lead
overcrowded boxes of books
without bookshelves to
alphabetize; ordering my things
to avoid the reality of the problem
v.
will I ever be ready for conventional
tendencies older than my parents?
|as I swipe right for them instead
of for myself because the pressure
to mate is wearing on my decrepit
body; when will my time come?
I ask myself as I watch friends grow
into their houses and children
vi.
I’ve outgrown conventional
lifestyles – any excuse to tell
myself why I don’t have a partner
or children to call my own
I can only swipe left for loneliness
maybe I’m not destined for candy
crush stardom or life consisting
of heteronormative social constructs
Christine Sung lives and writes on the unceded territory of the Algonquin Anishinabe. She was published by bywords.ca. She mostly writes from lived experience, but occasionally she can dream. She can be followed on instagram @breezynostrils.