Elizabeth Brandon

Shell of A Girl

Trigger Warning: mention of disordered eating

My body is made of paper thin porcelain, ready to be crushed by the moving wind. 

I try to silence my mind in many ways, bringing it back down to the speed of the world around me and down from floating above the clouds. 

I restrict my memories, my thinking patterns, my food intake, my thoughts of existence.

This bell jar specimen is pinned down for observation, but pining to break free. 

My earthly body is subject to too many contradictions to hold my full sense of self. 

I am young, my body feels heavy and old. 

I could be called conventionally pretty, my mind can be quite an ugly place.

I am loving, my environment and my psyche is unforgiving. 

My earthly body is too fragile to reside within for long periods of time. I much prefer the celestial bodies feeding my imagination meringue drops-- so sweet. 

Each daydream allows me to see the fruitful possibilities in this world.

How I may one day pull back the curtains to let the light in.