Khushi Gupta

dying for beauty; trigger for its shine

they asked me, “hey, what’s beauty for you?”
and i whispered-“beauty lies in a pure heart”
and they all started laughing,
while i was standing there wondering where i went wrong or said something hurtful,
but they looked eye to eye,
and said “you live in your own little world, do ya?”
they all showed me how a pure evil laughs, all of them,
that’s when it all started,
i came back home to find my mistake of conception in the word-“beauty”
and i couldn’t find one,
and there was the sunday guilt moment awaiting on my calendar,
and the moment i started to tick it,
i could hear their laughs in my dreams,
see their evil faces when i close my eyes,
but i don’t know how to break these chains when i’m unaware of where they’re tied,
i took a breath and i wondered hopelessly in the closet of my books,
none laid the meaning of beauty,
so-i tore those pages,
i tore those books,
and now, i’m lying on the floor,
pressing my forehead and asking what’s wrong with me,
why don’t i know what “beauty means”,
every page of a beautiful printed book was lying near me but couldn’t it tell me what beauty
meant?
alas! my phone was there with me,
one more time, it came to my rescue,
and there started the hopeless journey of finding a wifi signal,
running in the backyard,
laying low towards every house,
but with the baddest luck, it lay no where,
when i needed the wifi, it waved me goodbye!
it bid me in the outer world all alone,
while my inner peace was breaking,
hearts were shattering and reminding me of their evil laughs,
where in the world will i know what beauty meant?
but here i was, sitting on the floor, pressing my forehead with my nails and hoping my brain
tells me what beauty is,
i close my eyes,
and i find myself standing under the mistletoe and there’s a large christams tree near me,
there was a solace of spring, planting seeds, daisies drunk on love,butterfly wishes, gleaming
sunset,
AND,
i found a kaleidoscope on the ground near my legs,
i took, lifted it and looked in the sky,
there were millions of clouds in the middle of sky which showed bold words of love in italics,
when i saw two people falling in love with each other’s beauty,
i lay motionless,
i fainted when i shouted that’s the “real beauty”
and then it happened,
i came back to my room,
near those tore pages,
and i was standing still,
my brain kept rewinding the moments which had occurred,
while it couldn’t stop thinking for a second,
and i lay my hand on my pounding and melting heart,
there was a fragrance of hope which whispered me and i listened with tears: “you were
right all along. beauty lies inside and no tears over society’s dull expectations. For the love
of love, let them be at peace with their shining thoughts and obnoxious attitude.”