Fatigue

There is grief in fatigue

This slow moving body through honey

Anchored. Pulled.

Towards bed

Caffeine comforts a ritual only

Wrapping warm liquid shawls around tired bones

There is softness in the slowness

and sadness

and solitude

Sorting out letting go of the pieces of the day that will have to wait til tomorrow

Taming the thoughts that tomorrow may not be any different

The fear that this day is a sign of worse days to come

So I grieve the loss of today

to bring into focus the joy in the rest

The satisfaction of self care

of blankets

of warming meals from my freezer

The security that I know how to meet these days

and this body of mine

In the sticky anchored pull

of fatigue