Grace Sinkins

Chocolate cake

[TW: eating disorders]

One day you’re a little kid eating a chocolate cake begging for more

  The next you’re bent over the toilet throwing up because you haven’t eaten all day 

   You don’t know how to stop

  The numbers get lower and lower

And that should make you happy but it’s not enough

  You find yourself bitch at all your friends

   And heavily comparing yourself to models who were at their peaks were before you were born 

  The only thing ever on your mind is your weight 

   You feel isolated 

     And hunger is the only feeling of comfort 

  Yet it offers an equal amount of discomfort too

   You swear that you aren’t sick enough but you sleep to get away from the breath that not even a toothbrush can hide

  You utter “I ate today” when your mom asks 

  But all you chewed on was a piece of gum to tie you over

  And then you hit rock bottom 

Realize this might be a problem

  That you have to recover 

Learning to like yourself now feels like a chore

Running a marathon for something you don’t necessarily desire